Ehhhh, I dunno. I've met babes who are twice as old as you...
[ Kaito makes a face, sneers, then sits up again. He gives the Stitch plushie a little pat. ]
You like this one, [ he murmurs offhandedly. ]
I've opted to ignore the birthdays that passed in other worlds. Every time I came back, I looked the same as when I left. What's the point of me being thirty or three thousand when I still get accused of having a babyface?
[ A menace from space. Perfect for her, yes. But he has to wonder if she properly likes the series and what it stands for. ]
I don't like to think about my birthdays anyway, so it's fine if no one here knows about them. I didn't tell Vergilius, so there's no way in hell I'm telling you.
[ Sooyoung tried not to be too blunt and it was a mistake, it seems. If he gets angry because of this, it's fine. It's better than being apathetic, anyway. ]
[ She'd rather not see him smile right now, but that's a comment she leaves to herself. Sooyoung remains silent for a little while longer, sorting out what she has just learned. While her conclusion is that Kaito's mother didn't sacrifice her life in a literal sense, there are all kinds of deaths.
She might have been dead to her parents from the very beginning, but that's not what she wants to think about right now. ]
Are you feeling guilty because you were born or because you died?
[ Sooyoung's eyes are locked on Kaito and while she doesn't say it openly, it might be obvious that she's not letting him off the hook until she gets an answer. ]
[ Sooyoung belatedly recognizes her mistake. Both can be true at once, so the or in her question was really foolish of her. She's not planning on measuring his guilt now, though.
Whenever they talk, Kaito just proves how little does she know about him. ]
Reading comprehension my ass. [ Without thinking, she grabs his collar but doesn't pull him closer or anything like that. ] If you hadn't been born at all, this wouldn't happen. If you had died that day, this wouldn't happen either. Don't tell me you never had thoughts like that. Or maybe you didn't, I know shit about you.
[ Sooyoung looks away because that smile is way too aggravating. ]
[ Kaito grabs her wrist in turn. His smile vanishes as his fingers coil in a vice grip. ]
There isn't. But how the hell else do you expect me to react when you throw such a shitty question my way, Han Sooyoung?
[ He wrenches her hand away before letting go. ]
Everyone important to me has died once BECAUSE of me. That's as much of an answer as you need. What do you THINK goes through my head?
[ Kaito turns away from her; it's a sharp motion that's followed by him grabbing and tugging at the little doll in his hands hard enough for the seams to start splitting. ]
I hate myself, [ he answers later, quiet as a whisper. ] Who wouldn't, knowing they were powerless to protect their family?
[ She could leave it at that without a single word of apology, and if it was someone else, Sooyoung would have done just that. ]
I’m sorry for pushing you that far.
[ She’s terrible at apologizing, but it can happen once in a blue moon. Fully expecting to have her hand yanked away again, Sooyoung reaches up to brush the hair off his forehead. ]
And for wanting to see the ugly parts.
[ They can chatter, call each other idiots and tease the hell out of each other. At the end of the day, however, they both have things they want to hide from everyone else. ]
I can assume what goes through your head, but I don’t want to. What I think and how you feel are two different things. It’s not that easy to figure out another person. [ Sooyoung shakes her head lightly. ] No, it’s not about just a person. It’s not easy to figure out Kaito Nagano.
[ If he hates himself that deeply, everything people do might be in vain. But someone has to keep trying to reach out to him, even if there’s no guarantee they will ever solve the riddle he is. ]
[ Kaito doesn't push her hand away, but he refuses to look up. The Pikaplush is spared destruction this day.
It's hard to figure people out, huh. Yeah, these last few weeks have been a rough reminder of that. Kaito's words still sit sour in his mouth, long after they'd been spoken.
He had warned her, before. That he'd hide the ugly parts of himself. That he'd run before she saw them.
Yet here he was, caught in the act. All those memories rush back to the fore. The storm, the lightning bolt, seafoam...
No matter how many times they tell him it wasn't his fault, he can't wash the unreasonable, illogical guilt away.
In the end, Kaito slumps and falls sidelong into the pile. The Pikachu is hugged right to his chest. ]
[ Sometimes, words are powerless against guilt. If it took a deep root within one’s heart, there’s no way that another person could easily convince someone to get rid of it.
Sooyoung sighs softly and scoots away, keeping her distance. Maybe it would be a better idea to just leave, but instead she opts for laying down in the pile of plushies in silence. ]
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[ Kaito makes a face, sneers, then sits up again. He gives the Stitch plushie a little pat. ]
You like this one, [ he murmurs offhandedly. ]
I've opted to ignore the birthdays that passed in other worlds. Every time I came back, I looked the same as when I left. What's the point of me being thirty or three thousand when I still get accused of having a babyface?
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[ It’s very important to emphasize that repeatedly, it seems. ]
What’s not to like about him? A little menace from space.
[ Menaces attract each other. Well, there’s also the found family storyline but Sooyoung doesn’t feel like discussing that right now. ]
Someone doesn’t like being called a babyface… [ She can’t help smirking. ] Does this world count as the opted-out of birthdays one too?
[ That would make sense. But is it enough to make her stop asking questions? No. ]
When is your birthday anyway? I will make sure it’s the worst day of the year for you.
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[ A menace from space. Perfect for her, yes. But he has to wonder if she properly likes the series and what it stands for. ]
I don't like to think about my birthdays anyway, so it's fine if no one here knows about them. I didn't tell Vergilius, so there's no way in hell I'm telling you.
1/2
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[ Will Sooyoung ever miss a chance to dunk on poor Verg… no. ]
Tell meeeeee.
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[ Snicker, snicker. ]
Listen to yourself. You sound like a petulant child.
I'm not telling you a thing.
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[ She’s the worst and she’s proud of it. ]
Man, you gotta decide if you see me as a granny or as a child. Both are wrong, though.
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[ Kaito sticks his tongue out. ]
You're too young to be middle aged, brat.
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[ Sooyoung sits up and puffs her chest. ]
I have to make every single day the worst day of your life.
[ Sounds fun. ]
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You're that obsessed with me, are you?
[ What a pair of menaces. ]
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[ She’s gonna punch his arm now. ]
It’s your fault because you didn’t tell me your birthday.
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[ He takes the punch in stride, smirking. ]
I don't like my birthday. That's why I don't share it with people.
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[ She hasn’t even realized that she’s raised her voice significantly, what a clown.
It takes Sooyoung a while to speak up again because she’s too busy being sulky. At least she’s not yelling anymore. ]
Was it always like that?
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[ Taunting her is fun, but the follow up question wipes his smile away. ]
No. But it started early. Fourth birthday.
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[ Maybe if she didn't stick her tongue right after saying that, Sooyoung's threat would have sounded a bit more serious. ]
Fourth birthday. [ Her symbolism senses are tingling. ] So what happened then to change your mind about birthdays?
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Take a wild East Asian guess.
[ Despite the snark, his gaze strays. He doesn't want to talk about it, but surely she'll be able to guess. ]
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Who died?
[ Sooyoung tried not to be too blunt and it was a mistake, it seems. If he gets angry because of this, it's fine. It's better than being apathetic, anyway. ]
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[ Kaito looks down and grabs the Pikachu plush. ]
My mom and I were out at sea for my birthday. A terrible storm tore the boat apart. I lost her that day.
[ Squeeeeeeeeze. ]
Everyone but me thought she had died. Turns out she had disappeared for two decades.
[ A glance over to Sooyoung. The smile that follows is weak. ]
Turns out, the one who actually died was me.
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She might have been dead to her parents from the very beginning, but that's not what she wants to think about right now. ]
Are you feeling guilty because you were born or because you died?
[ Sooyoung's eyes are locked on Kaito and while she doesn't say it openly, it might be obvious that she's not letting him off the hook until she gets an answer. ]
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Reading comprehension check:
Based on how well you know me by now, what do you think I feel more guilty about?
Is it the fact that I died without having a single day in it? Or is it the fact that I lost my mother for twenty years when I came back to life?
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Whenever they talk, Kaito just proves how little does she know about him. ]
Reading comprehension my ass. [ Without thinking, she grabs his collar but doesn't pull him closer or anything like that. ] If you hadn't been born at all, this wouldn't happen. If you had died that day, this wouldn't happen either. Don't tell me you never had thoughts like that. Or maybe you didn't, I know shit about you.
[ Sooyoung looks away because that smile is way too aggravating. ]
And there's nothing to smile about here, bastard.
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There isn't. But how the hell else do you expect me to react when you throw such a shitty question my way, Han Sooyoung?
[ He wrenches her hand away before letting go. ]
Everyone important to me has died once BECAUSE of me. That's as much of an answer as you need. What do you THINK goes through my head?
[ Kaito turns away from her; it's a sharp motion that's followed by him grabbing and tugging at the little doll in his hands hard enough for the seams to start splitting. ]
I hate myself, [ he answers later, quiet as a whisper. ] Who wouldn't, knowing they were powerless to protect their family?
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[ She could leave it at that without a single word of apology, and if it was someone else, Sooyoung would have done just that. ]
I’m sorry for pushing you that far.
[ She’s terrible at apologizing, but it can happen once in a blue moon. Fully expecting to have her hand yanked away again, Sooyoung reaches up to brush the hair off his forehead. ]
And for wanting to see the ugly parts.
[ They can chatter, call each other idiots and tease the hell out of each other. At the end of the day, however, they both have things they want to hide from everyone else. ]
I can assume what goes through your head, but I don’t want to. What I think and how you feel are two different things. It’s not that easy to figure out another person. [ Sooyoung shakes her head lightly. ] No, it’s not about just a person. It’s not easy to figure out Kaito Nagano.
[ If he hates himself that deeply, everything people do might be in vain. But someone has to keep trying to reach out to him, even if there’s no guarantee they will ever solve the riddle he is. ]
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[ Kaito doesn't push her hand away, but he refuses to look up. The Pikaplush is spared destruction this day.
It's hard to figure people out, huh. Yeah, these last few weeks have been a rough reminder of that. Kaito's words still sit sour in his mouth, long after they'd been spoken.
He had warned her, before. That he'd hide the ugly parts of himself. That he'd run before she saw them.
Yet here he was, caught in the act. All those memories rush back to the fore. The storm, the lightning bolt, seafoam...
No matter how many times they tell him it wasn't his fault, he can't wash the unreasonable, illogical guilt away.
In the end, Kaito slumps and falls sidelong into the pile. The Pikachu is hugged right to his chest. ]
...No more questions, [ he whispers. ]
Please.
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[ Sometimes, words are powerless against guilt. If it took a deep root within one’s heart, there’s no way that another person could easily convince someone to get rid of it.
Sooyoung sighs softly and scoots away, keeping her distance. Maybe it would be a better idea to just leave, but instead she opts for laying down in the pile of plushies in silence. ]
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